I hope everyone had a nice Labor Day weekend. Sadly, ours was one of heartache. In early August, Simon and I decided that we were ready to restart fertility treatment. Three months had passed since my miscarriage and I was feeling emotionally and physically ready to begin again. IVF is, as I’ve mentioned before, far more affordable in Denmark than it is in the States, so though we’d previously planned to take a longer break, while we’re living abroad I wanted to keep the ball rolling. So, last month we did a fresh round of IVF (the shots, the acupuncture, the whole shebang).
This time, after the egg removal I was feeling particularly ill thanks to something glamorous called ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (hence the lack of blog posts). Thankfully, despite my OHSS symptoms, we were still able to do the embryo transfer and even talked our doctor into transferring TWO embryos (something rarely done in Denmark for women under 35). We had such high hopes! Maybe we’d have twins! Our bad luck would be over! The fourth time was going to be a charm! Until, it wasn’t. On Friday morning, after what felt like a truly never ending two week wait, I got the call from the clinic—our fourth IVF transfer had failed. I was not pregnant. There would be no Taylor twins. We spent the weekend cuddling Alfred and reassuring ourselves that we’re still a family, even if our only child is a grumpy pug.
The silver lining? We have three frozen embryos and we’ll try again in a few weeks. I’m back on the hormone wagon and somehow, charging ahead. I wanted to again thank you for all of your prayers and well wishes this past year. They’ve kept me afloat. If you or someone you love is struggling with infertility please also know that our bad luck is not the norm. Whether we have our own biological child or are lucky enough to adopt someday, I know this long, crazy journey to motherhood will have been worth it. Keeping my chin up. Love, Katie
(Above: vintage butterfly prints that arrived the day we got the bad news and lifted my spirits. I can’t wait to get them framed. Trying to find joy in the small things…)