As you may have guessed, we received disappointing IVF news this week. Our sixth attempt (sixth?!) has also failed. I feel like a broken record. I took the news in stride at first, going about my day, holding it together, only to late-afternoon collapse onto our bed in loud, ugly sobs (our new Danish neighbors must have thought someone died). Infertility is rough. We now have only one frozen embryo left and even though IVF costs are much lower in Denmark than America, we’ve spent a pretty penny at this point. Most difficult of all has been enduring the seemingly endless stream of heartbreak (my birthday miscarriage being the low point…life can be just plain cruel). I don’t feel like myself anymore, between the shots, the bruised stomach, and the hormones every eight hours for months on end. I’ve gained 20 pounds over the past year (I used to joke “five pounds for every failed round!” but in all seriousness, someone hide the pastries). It’s hard to remember the last time I physically felt well. Perhaps most frusturating of all, our doctor keeps reassuring us there’s “nothing wrong” with me and especially given that I’m only 31, IVF should work for us. There’s every indication that my being pregnant is “just around the corner.” We’ll transfer our last embryo in three weeks and honestly, I just can’t wait to be done. If by some miracle it works, brilliant, but if it doesn’t, I’ll just be thrilled to (for now at least) close the door on this trying chapter of our lives. The one thing getting me through this week? This funny, heartwarming book. I stumbled upon it on Amazon and downloaded it to Simon’s kindle. Boy, am I glad I did. It made me laugh and made me cry. It’s given me so much hope that despite all this heartache we will someday be parents. That we will adopt a beautiful child in need of home and love them to the moon and back. Thank you again (really, truly) for your kind words of support over the past year. I’m keeping the faith. xo Katie
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